Lucky

Last night, Adam's assigned flat mate slept over. We haven't seen him in months, so we weren't too put out that he had to spend the night. When he arrived, I was making dinner and Adam was feeding Bryony, so we had time to chat with him awhile before he went to bed for the night.

His time at Ft Hood, like Adam's, is coming to a close at the end of month; also like Adam, he will be deploying soon. I knew he was also a reservist here on a one-year assignment, but it had never occurred to me that he might have to deploy. He has two teenage kids and a baby daughter (named Lauren) at home. It broke my heart to hear that he would be leaving them and his wife behind for a year.

Then, I asked him how many times he had deployed already. "Four," he responded, shaking his head wearily at the ground. "I just wish they'd stop deploying me," he said when I asked how he felt about leaving. "It just puts your entire life on hold. It's hard." I gaped at Adam, thinking about how I've been feeling sorry for myself that Adam is leaving on his third deployment; this guy is leaving on his fifth.

"Where are you going?" I asked him, not sure I wanted to hear his reply.

"Afghanistan," he responded with a tight smile. Adam commented that he was heading to Iraq, and the roommate said, "Oh, it's not so bad over there. Last time I was there--in 2008--I was inside a building so nice I forgot I was in Iraq. Well, until I stepped outside!" he laughed.

He said his orders were for a year, as troops are not due to fully withdraw from Afghanistan until 2014. Troops (according to the SOFA treaty) are due to leave Iraq by the end of 2011, so we are hopeful Adam will be home by the end of the year.

Then, I asked the roommate what his job in the Army was. He looked down at the floor and gave a short, harsh laugh. "Well, essentially, I shoot people. I'm in the infantry unit." I had no idea. I knew he did a lot of field exercises here on base because he always came to the apartment with a dirty uniform. But it didn't dawn on me that this mild-mannered, unassuming guy could very well end someone's life. He went on to tell a story about one of his previous deployments to Iraq, when he was "in theater," chasing down an insurgent and consequently got his story and photo in his hometown newspaper. His wife and mother were upset to hear the details of his time overseas, because he had always assured them that he never saw any action, for fear of scaring them.

I glanced at my attorney husband and felt so grateful, all of a sudden, that he was only going to Iraq to sit behind a desk in a secure location. Am I still scared for his safety and sad for the time we will spend apart? Certainly. But I realize that there is always someone out there who is worse off than you are.

We are lucky.