Linguistically Speaking, Amended

At the risk of sounding like an old curmudgeon, I'm following my last post with yet another persnickety I-can't-stand-it-when-peoople-do post. These pet peeves, however, are not my fault; I'm the daughter of a former English teacher. I've seen these common linguistic mistakes everywhere from college term papers to NPR newscasts. I'll admit that I even find myself violating #3, #4 and #8 from time to time.

1. When people misuse the word "myself." For example (and I hear this all the time), when people say, "It really meant a lot to Tom and myself that you came to our party tonight." That should have been "It really meant a lot to Tom and me that you came to our party tonight." Myself should be used to refer back to the same person from whom the action was made. For example, "I gave myself an unfortunate haircut when I was three years old."

2. When people talk about themself and another person by saying, "Me and Nate..." Don't we all know that should be "Nate and I..."???

3. Similarly, when folks use the the proper form of #2 in the accusatory and dative forms. For instance, "Becky gave Nate and I her lunch money" or "Becky thanked Nate and I for our help". These should have read "Becky gave Nate and me her lunch money" and "Becky thanked Nate and me for our help."

4. I can't stand how so few people use the proper response of "You're welcome" after they've been thanked. Have you noticed how everyone answers "Thank you" with "Thank you" these days?

5. Far too many people misspell the word lose. Lose means to misplace something; or to not win something. Loose refers to something not being tight.

6. You're = You are
Your = belonging to you

7. There = A distance from here
Their = Belonging to them
They're = They are

8. I hate when (and I readily admit that I do this myself) folks use the word "there's" when they should use "there are". For example: "I know somewhere in this pile there's fifty one dollar bills" should be "I know somewhere in this pile there are fifty one dollar bills"

9. Lay or Lie? I cannot stand that song by Snow Patrol where the singer warbles "If I lay here, I just lay here..." He should be using "lie" instead of lay. Lay would only work if he were singing in the past tense, and the rest of the lyrics suggest that he's not. To lay is to perform the action of putting something down, whether it's an object or yourself, for example: "Now I lay me down to sleep" or "Would you please lay the covers over the bed?" To lie is to be in a still (sometimes sleeping) position, for example, "I lie here thinking about all the chores I should be doing right now" or "The cookbook always lies next to the cutting board in Grandma's house."

I know, I know, I'm a snob, which I don't even have a right to be, considering I violate many of the linguistic rules I hold so dear. But I am a linguiphile (a lover of languages) and so I am very aware of when grammatical and syntactical rules are violated. I guess, I too, belong to the Hypocrite Party.