I've been floored by how many Lauren Baileys there are in the world. Growing up, I never knew any other Laurens (other than knowing of Lauren Bacall and Lauren Hutton), thereby leading me to think it was a relatively original name. Then, 7th grade came, and there was another Lauren in my class, who of course was much prettier and more popular than I was...years later, I interviewed for a guy who had a daughter named Lauren, which led to me being hired for the job (sometimes sharing a name pays, I guess). Anyway, several months ago when I joined Facebook, I decided to search to see how many other Lauren Baileys there were...I didn't have the time to get through them all. It was strange how the majority of them are young, blonde, white girls in the Midwest who play soccer. Seriously. Photo after photo shows different girls who all seem the same. One weird outcome of my "Lauren Bailey" search, however, is that I found another Lauren Alexis Bailey, and believe it or not, she's black! I was floored that she existed, and after contacting her and ultimately friending her, I found that she was completely underwhelmed by my existence. I believe her exact response to my revelation was "Ha! LOL! That's funny! " But then again, she's only 19 years old and is probably just too young to appreciate the true significance of this type of thing. Or maybe I have too much time on my hands.
Random thought...have you ever noticed how photos from the 70s and early 80s always seem to be dark and blurry? Even the school photos taken by professional photographers (the ones where there's a head-on shot with a profile shot to the side) always have an eerie shadow effect to them, making it seem as though the person is trapped in some weird 1970s time zone, smiling serenely with a bad hairdo into eternity. Sometimes when I look at old photos like these, I have to wonder if the 1970s just really looked like that--dark, blurry, shadowy. Did people back then walk around seeing a slightly abstract world and just not realize it?
So, in other news, this is my life...as of this week. We got the official word last Thursday that we are NOT moving to Ft. Gordon, GA, after all. After being jerked around by the Army for the last four months or so (essentially a "yes, you'll be reporting for duty on 21 August" to a "Make it mid-September" to a "15 September is definitely the date", then a "Your paperwork is taking longer than usual, so you probably won't report till late-September", which made way for "Well, you were supposed to have gotten this medical exam done six months ago, so until you get it, your deployment is on hold!" to "The guy who can upload your medical records is off on vacation and no one can do it except for him" and finally ended with a "Looks like you'll be reporting sometime in October, if the person you're filling in for isn't already back by then" and "It's a no-go, sorry!"), we are fed up, a little fatigued and definitely jaded. However, since the job front isn't looking so bright here in Michigan, and no one else is pounding down our doors, we're still open to military options. The latest and greatest news is that there is an opportunity for a one-year stint at Ft. Eustis, Virginia, near Newport News. This would be good news, as it's only about a 3-hour drive from my family, and we'd be closer to Adam's family, too. But we're also not holding our breaths, since we are now tuned in on the Army's way of doing things.
All of this, however, brings me to some thoughtful self-reflection. I've realized lately that much of my current state of mind has been framed by envy. This is really hard for me to admit, not because I have problems admitting flaws in my character, but because I didn't expect envy to be one of them. I've become envious of others' jobs, wealth, success (in whatever form they might have attained it), homes (because mine, at 790 square feet, is very small), travelling opportunities, other women's post-pregnancy waistlines and thighs, and whatever else they might have that I wish I had. I realize now that I've been obsessing about these things for quite awhile now, and that I never realized that it's all based on my own self-destructive envious feelings. Taking a look at my gorgeous baby finally rescued me from the black hole called envy that I was falling, endlessly it seemed, through. I have absolutely nothing to be unhappy about. Maybe we're not making the millions we thought we'd be, but there's still time, right? Maybe we don't live in a house with more wiggle room, but I never wanted a mansion to begin with (can you say carbon footprint??), and we've spent a lot of time and effort lately renovating our little house, so that it's finally at the point where we can really enjoy it. Maybe I still haven't shed those last 10-15 lbs of baby weight that I never expected to still be toting around...but I did manage to get into my "skinny" jeans today...they didn't look exactly the way I wanted them to, but I'm getting back into my walking and jogging now that I'm finally healed from the C-section, so my ideal waist and thighs can't be too far away! And maybe I don't have my dream job as a politically-connected ecological consultant for urban areas...but I've got a pretty darn good job now as mum to a wildly energetic and fascinating 4-month old...and I am so incredibly happy for the time I get to spend with her, my first-born, as she grows and changes and begins to exhibit her personality. And, I might add, I have a pretty awesome husband who is super-excited to be a dad, is more hands-on than I could have ever asked for, and is supportive of my desire to work outside the home, but also celebrates the time I spend with our daughter. How could I ask for anything more than the life I have?
We are taking tons and tons and tons of photos of Bryony as she gets older and changes from day to day. One day, I hope that as she looks through the aged, darkened and blurry shots from 2009 (although I suppose digital photos will never age, right?) she'll see past the photo quality to the sheer and blissful happiness her parents had in these still frames of time.
This is my life.
Monday, September 28, 2009
Monday, September 21, 2009
So As Not To Be Confused
Here's a link to the explanation and pronunciation of Bryony's name, as several people still seem to be having a bit of trouble. Hope this helps:
Bryony - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Bryony - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Friday, September 18, 2009
Linguistically Speaking, Amended
At the risk of sounding like an old curmudgeon, I'm following my last post with yet another persnickety I-can't-stand-it-when-peoople-do post. These pet peeves, however, are not my fault; I'm the daughter of a former English teacher. I've seen these common linguistic mistakes everywhere from college term papers to NPR newscasts. I'll admit that I even find myself violating #3, #4 and #8 from time to time.
1. When people misuse the word "myself." For example (and I hear this all the time), when people say, "It really meant a lot to Tom and myself that you came to our party tonight." That should have been "It really meant a lot to Tom and me that you came to our party tonight." Myself should be used to refer back to the same person from whom the action was made. For example, "I gave myself an unfortunate haircut when I was three years old."
2. When people talk about themself and another person by saying, "Me and Nate..." Don't we all know that should be "Nate and I..."???
3. Similarly, when folks use the the proper form of #2 in the accusatory and dative forms. For instance, "Becky gave Nate and I her lunch money" or "Becky thanked Nate and I for our help". These should have read "Becky gave Nate and me her lunch money" and "Becky thanked Nate and me for our help."
4. I can't stand how so few people use the proper response of "You're welcome" after they've been thanked. Have you noticed how everyone answers "Thank you" with "Thank you" these days?
5. Far too many people misspell the word lose. Lose means to misplace something; or to not win something. Loose refers to something not being tight.
6. You're = You are
Your = belonging to you
7. There = A distance from here
Their = Belonging to them
They're = They are
8. I hate when (and I readily admit that I do this myself) folks use the word "there's" when they should use "there are". For example: "I know somewhere in this pile there's fifty one dollar bills" should be "I know somewhere in this pile there are fifty one dollar bills"
9. Lay or Lie? I cannot stand that song by Snow Patrol where the singer warbles "If I lay here, I just lay here..." He should be using "lie" instead of lay. Lay would only work if he were singing in the past tense, and the rest of the lyrics suggest that he's not. To lay is to perform the action of putting something down, whether it's an object or yourself, for example: "Now I lay me down to sleep" or "Would you please lay the covers over the bed?" To lie is to be in a still (sometimes sleeping) position, for example, "I lie here thinking about all the chores I should be doing right now" or "The cookbook always lies next to the cutting board in Grandma's house."
I know, I know, I'm a snob, which I don't even have a right to be, considering I violate many of the linguistic rules I hold so dear. But I am a linguiphile (a lover of languages) and so I am very aware of when grammatical and syntactical rules are violated. I guess, I too, belong to the Hypocrite Party.
1. When people misuse the word "myself." For example (and I hear this all the time), when people say, "It really meant a lot to Tom and myself that you came to our party tonight." That should have been "It really meant a lot to Tom and me that you came to our party tonight." Myself should be used to refer back to the same person from whom the action was made. For example, "I gave myself an unfortunate haircut when I was three years old."
2. When people talk about themself and another person by saying, "Me and Nate..." Don't we all know that should be "Nate and I..."???
3. Similarly, when folks use the the proper form of #2 in the accusatory and dative forms. For instance, "Becky gave Nate and I her lunch money" or "Becky thanked Nate and I for our help". These should have read "Becky gave Nate and me her lunch money" and "Becky thanked Nate and me for our help."
4. I can't stand how so few people use the proper response of "You're welcome" after they've been thanked. Have you noticed how everyone answers "Thank you" with "Thank you" these days?
5. Far too many people misspell the word lose. Lose means to misplace something; or to not win something. Loose refers to something not being tight.
6. You're = You are
Your = belonging to you
7. There = A distance from here
Their = Belonging to them
They're = They are
8. I hate when (and I readily admit that I do this myself) folks use the word "there's" when they should use "there are". For example: "I know somewhere in this pile there's fifty one dollar bills" should be "I know somewhere in this pile there are fifty one dollar bills"
9. Lay or Lie? I cannot stand that song by Snow Patrol where the singer warbles "If I lay here, I just lay here..." He should be using "lie" instead of lay. Lay would only work if he were singing in the past tense, and the rest of the lyrics suggest that he's not. To lay is to perform the action of putting something down, whether it's an object or yourself, for example: "Now I lay me down to sleep" or "Would you please lay the covers over the bed?" To lie is to be in a still (sometimes sleeping) position, for example, "I lie here thinking about all the chores I should be doing right now" or "The cookbook always lies next to the cutting board in Grandma's house."
I know, I know, I'm a snob, which I don't even have a right to be, considering I violate many of the linguistic rules I hold so dear. But I am a linguiphile (a lover of languages) and so I am very aware of when grammatical and syntactical rules are violated. I guess, I too, belong to the Hypocrite Party.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
A Three Party System
So, the Dems have the donkey, the GOP has the elephant, but...what animal does the Hypocrite party have? The hippo?
The Hypocrite Party...you know, that party full of Democrats and Republicans who tow their party lines, spout party rhetoric, and then do the exact opposite in their own lives. For example, how Republicans champion fiscal responsibility! to anyone who will listen, and yet the Bush administration racked up more national debt than just about any other president in history. Or, how they scream for family values! and yet 1) we've dropped countless errant bombs on civilian families in Iraq (or maybe non-American families don't count, they're just collateral damage?, 2) this purposeless war has not only led to increased suicide rates amongst service members because of the lack of psychological support they receive after tours of duty, but it has also led to an increase in divorce rates amongst deployed troops (Up with family, GOP!).
But don't think I'm ripping solely on the Republicans. Noooo, the Democrats are equal inductees into the Hypocrite Party. I love how Democrats like to point the finger at Republicans for being the party of aristocrats who don't understand "the common folk." Actually, Democrats tend to be more affluent and more highly educated than the Republican base or their elected officials, hence the "Latte-drinking Liberal" slam we heard during the last election. What about the Democratic adherence to Change! during Obama's run for office? If that wasn't the buzzword of the decade, I don't know what was. But what happens when the guy gets elected to office? He tries to implement change--asking a far-right conservative Evangelical pastor to deliver the prayer at the inauguration ceremony--and Democrats go crazy. How DARE he do something like that? How could he possibly reach across the aisle to someone he (and his supporters) don't agree completely with and invite the man to pray for the country? It's unheard of! I guess Democrats wanted to be able to dictate what types of change Obama would be making, because if it included cooperating with the conservative right, then Dems didn't want any part in it.
Which leads me to a few people I know (who shall remain nameless). I'm constantly mystified by how supportive they are of their party line until they have to practice what they preach. For example, one of my very good friends is a hard and fast Liberal who supports Affirmative Action...until the policy meant that her husband's promotion might have been kaiboshed so that a person from an underrepresented group got the position instead. Another Liberal friend is all for universal health care...except if it means she has to give up the very choice health insurance plan she and her family currently enjoy. Several of my nose-to-the-ground, so-called-activist-minded Liberal friends are all about community development and organizing...as long as they don't have to actually live in any of the neighborhoods that need help. While Adam and I recognize that we don't live in the nicest of neighborhoods, I'd like to think that we've done our part to improve it in some way; amongst even our most progressive friends, our neighborhood is a joke that they wouldn't even consider living in, not even to help improve things.
And what about my Republican friends? Okay, I get the whole religious right aspect to much of modern-day conservatism. However, I still don't believe that that trumps the original tenants of the Republican Party--small government that stays out of the people's business. Whether you personally do or don't support homosexuality, it seems completely hypocritical to me that as a Republican one could believe that government has any role in who sleeps with whom, who gets married, who inherits property, who can adopt needy children (with the exception of pedophiles and axe murderers). Isn't government involvement the anti-Republican stance? Being the biologist that I am, my all-time favorite hypocrisy is Republicans and the environment. Teddy Roosevelt, a Republican, was one of the original leaders of the environmentalism movement! Back then, the natural resources this nation provided were respected, cherished and conserved. Under current Republican administrations, they are cut down, excavated, overhunted and polluted. Roosevelt supported Gifford Pinchot, the first Chief of the US Forest Service, who advocated for conservation and wise use of natural resources. Current Republican administrations advocate for cutting trees to make way for more logging roads in national forests. How did the GOP go from Teddy Roosevelt refusing to shoot a bear to Sarah Palin shooting wolves from a helicopter?
So all hail the lastest inductees into America's latest, albeit unrecognized, party! All hail to the Hypocrite Party!
The Hypocrite Party...you know, that party full of Democrats and Republicans who tow their party lines, spout party rhetoric, and then do the exact opposite in their own lives. For example, how Republicans champion fiscal responsibility! to anyone who will listen, and yet the Bush administration racked up more national debt than just about any other president in history. Or, how they scream for family values! and yet 1) we've dropped countless errant bombs on civilian families in Iraq (or maybe non-American families don't count, they're just collateral damage?, 2) this purposeless war has not only led to increased suicide rates amongst service members because of the lack of psychological support they receive after tours of duty, but it has also led to an increase in divorce rates amongst deployed troops (Up with family, GOP!).
But don't think I'm ripping solely on the Republicans. Noooo, the Democrats are equal inductees into the Hypocrite Party. I love how Democrats like to point the finger at Republicans for being the party of aristocrats who don't understand "the common folk." Actually, Democrats tend to be more affluent and more highly educated than the Republican base or their elected officials, hence the "Latte-drinking Liberal" slam we heard during the last election. What about the Democratic adherence to Change! during Obama's run for office? If that wasn't the buzzword of the decade, I don't know what was. But what happens when the guy gets elected to office? He tries to implement change--asking a far-right conservative Evangelical pastor to deliver the prayer at the inauguration ceremony--and Democrats go crazy. How DARE he do something like that? How could he possibly reach across the aisle to someone he (and his supporters) don't agree completely with and invite the man to pray for the country? It's unheard of! I guess Democrats wanted to be able to dictate what types of change Obama would be making, because if it included cooperating with the conservative right, then Dems didn't want any part in it.
Which leads me to a few people I know (who shall remain nameless). I'm constantly mystified by how supportive they are of their party line until they have to practice what they preach. For example, one of my very good friends is a hard and fast Liberal who supports Affirmative Action...until the policy meant that her husband's promotion might have been kaiboshed so that a person from an underrepresented group got the position instead. Another Liberal friend is all for universal health care...except if it means she has to give up the very choice health insurance plan she and her family currently enjoy. Several of my nose-to-the-ground, so-called-activist-minded Liberal friends are all about community development and organizing...as long as they don't have to actually live in any of the neighborhoods that need help. While Adam and I recognize that we don't live in the nicest of neighborhoods, I'd like to think that we've done our part to improve it in some way; amongst even our most progressive friends, our neighborhood is a joke that they wouldn't even consider living in, not even to help improve things.
And what about my Republican friends? Okay, I get the whole religious right aspect to much of modern-day conservatism. However, I still don't believe that that trumps the original tenants of the Republican Party--small government that stays out of the people's business. Whether you personally do or don't support homosexuality, it seems completely hypocritical to me that as a Republican one could believe that government has any role in who sleeps with whom, who gets married, who inherits property, who can adopt needy children (with the exception of pedophiles and axe murderers). Isn't government involvement the anti-Republican stance? Being the biologist that I am, my all-time favorite hypocrisy is Republicans and the environment. Teddy Roosevelt, a Republican, was one of the original leaders of the environmentalism movement! Back then, the natural resources this nation provided were respected, cherished and conserved. Under current Republican administrations, they are cut down, excavated, overhunted and polluted. Roosevelt supported Gifford Pinchot, the first Chief of the US Forest Service, who advocated for conservation and wise use of natural resources. Current Republican administrations advocate for cutting trees to make way for more logging roads in national forests. How did the GOP go from Teddy Roosevelt refusing to shoot a bear to Sarah Palin shooting wolves from a helicopter?
So all hail the lastest inductees into America's latest, albeit unrecognized, party! All hail to the Hypocrite Party!
Friday, September 11, 2009
The Prodigal Granddaughter
A number of pix from Bryony's first trip to the D.C. area to see the maternal relatives...we had a great time getting spoiled by everyone! There are quite a few pix here (I had a hard time not posting ALL of them, they're so precious!), so you might pace yourself. Thanks to all the relatives and friends who worked to make this visit so wonderful for us. It was such a delight to introduce my daughter to you all!
Much love,
Lauren
At the airport, Bryony is looking out of the Baby Bjorn...she was EXCELLENT on both legs of the trip, and we had such good seatmates to help us along!
First shot of Aunt Tyuana and Cousin Alex meeting "My Bry-ny" (as he called her all weekend). He was shy but ever so excited...so were we!!
Alex was so loving and gentle with his wee cousin...he offered her goldfish crackers and fruit snacks and wanted to share all his toys with her. One day the two of them will love these pix...
After a long day out and about, the cousins crash while thunderstorms raged outside...
Uncle Walt and Bryony
Alex and Bryony enjoying each other's company
Grandma (or MoMa as Alex calls her, or Marmee as Bryony will call her) with her grandkids
Lauren with her two favorite kids
Aunt Shantz makes wee Bryony giggle!
Bryony with Marmee and Aunt Nella
Bryony and Aunt Daniela...so THAT'S where all those curly dark locks came from!!!
"Travellin' is old hat to me, y'all"
"I'm so bored!"
Visiting with Mum's oldest friend, Aunt Katie, and her kids...here is a pic of Bryony with Baby Lucy, who was born exactly one month before Bryony. These girls will be just as close friends as their mums...and we didn't even put them up to holding hands!!
Bryony chillin' out in the Bumbo..
Aunt Katie and Lucy surprised us with a sling while we were in town! This worked out incredibly well for the flights home, as she was able to stay in the sling during the trip. Thanks Katie and Lucy!!!
We couldn't leave Virginia without getting a little lovin' time with Uncle Jake!
Much love,
Lauren
At the airport, Bryony is looking out of the Baby Bjorn...she was EXCELLENT on both legs of the trip, and we had such good seatmates to help us along!
First shot of Aunt Tyuana and Cousin Alex meeting "My Bry-ny" (as he called her all weekend). He was shy but ever so excited...so were we!!
Alex was so loving and gentle with his wee cousin...he offered her goldfish crackers and fruit snacks and wanted to share all his toys with her. One day the two of them will love these pix...
After a long day out and about, the cousins crash while thunderstorms raged outside...
Uncle Walt and Bryony
Alex and Bryony enjoying each other's company
Grandma (or MoMa as Alex calls her, or Marmee as Bryony will call her) with her grandkids
Lauren with her two favorite kids
Aunt Shantz makes wee Bryony giggle!
Bryony with Marmee and Aunt Nella
Bryony and Aunt Daniela...so THAT'S where all those curly dark locks came from!!!
"Travellin' is old hat to me, y'all"
"I'm so bored!"
Visiting with Mum's oldest friend, Aunt Katie, and her kids...here is a pic of Bryony with Baby Lucy, who was born exactly one month before Bryony. These girls will be just as close friends as their mums...and we didn't even put them up to holding hands!!
Bryony chillin' out in the Bumbo..
Aunt Katie and Lucy surprised us with a sling while we were in town! This worked out incredibly well for the flights home, as she was able to stay in the sling during the trip. Thanks Katie and Lucy!!!
We couldn't leave Virginia without getting a little lovin' time with Uncle Jake!
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Paradox
As many of my friends are only too happy to remind me, it was only a few short years ago that I proudly professed to anyone who would listen that I would never get married or have kids. Then, I transitioned into maybe-I-can-get-married-but-why-would-anyone-have-kids? mode before a year or so later entering the maybe-kids-don't-completely-ruin-your-life zone. Then I got married, admittedly a bit unconventionally, but I did enter into the forays of matrimony. Only half a year later, I found out I was pregnant. I guess that's what the old sages mean when they say that people change.
In fact, I've changed more than I could have ever imagined. I am completely in love with my little girl. While there are stressful days (like this morning, when I realized she'd poo'd all over her outfit, and after changing her diaper and outfit, she managed to vomit three times, requiring two more diaper changes), most of my time with her is filled with wonder and joy as I see her growing, learning and progressing into the next stages of childhood. It's wild. It's moments like this that make the idea of returning to work paralyzing; the idea of someone else--a stranger--getting to see her "firsts" and her growth makes me sick to my stomach. But at the same time, I still feel passionately about my work as a biologist. The idea of not returning to workforce outside the home feels just as unbearable. So what to do? Stay at home with my child and feel like I'm missing out on the work I spent 4 1/2 years of grad school preparing for OR return to work and feel like I'm missing out on the single most important experience of my life (ie--motherhood)?
So, for now, I'm trying not to sweat it, and am just enjoying the time I have with Bryony. She is already over 3 months old, and I can hardly believe that I would've been back to work over a month already if I'd been on matenity leave. She still seems SO small and young and the idea of her being at day care just seems unimaginable to me, even though I know that most people do it.
I have applied for a couple of jobs down in Georgia, so I am actively pursuing employment for the near future. As supportive as Adam is of my taking care of our child, we'ver never had an expectation that we'd be a single-income household, at least not permanently. So, I am trying to enjoy each moment with the little miss in the meantime, assuming that I will be putting her into daycare sometime soon.
One thing about this situation comforts me--the notion that my daughter will see her mother as a mother and a biologist. It's important to me for my children to know that not just daddies can work outside the home and make a difference in the world; mums can, too. So, I want to set this example for my daughter, so that she'll know that one day it could be an option open for her, too, if she so chooses.
But that doesn't mean that I won't have a little hole in my heart to know that the special smiles that she gives me everyday will go to someone else during the eight hours I'm away from her.
But I guess no one ever said any of this was supposed to be easy.
In fact, I've changed more than I could have ever imagined. I am completely in love with my little girl. While there are stressful days (like this morning, when I realized she'd poo'd all over her outfit, and after changing her diaper and outfit, she managed to vomit three times, requiring two more diaper changes), most of my time with her is filled with wonder and joy as I see her growing, learning and progressing into the next stages of childhood. It's wild. It's moments like this that make the idea of returning to work paralyzing; the idea of someone else--a stranger--getting to see her "firsts" and her growth makes me sick to my stomach. But at the same time, I still feel passionately about my work as a biologist. The idea of not returning to workforce outside the home feels just as unbearable. So what to do? Stay at home with my child and feel like I'm missing out on the work I spent 4 1/2 years of grad school preparing for OR return to work and feel like I'm missing out on the single most important experience of my life (ie--motherhood)?
So, for now, I'm trying not to sweat it, and am just enjoying the time I have with Bryony. She is already over 3 months old, and I can hardly believe that I would've been back to work over a month already if I'd been on matenity leave. She still seems SO small and young and the idea of her being at day care just seems unimaginable to me, even though I know that most people do it.
I have applied for a couple of jobs down in Georgia, so I am actively pursuing employment for the near future. As supportive as Adam is of my taking care of our child, we'ver never had an expectation that we'd be a single-income household, at least not permanently. So, I am trying to enjoy each moment with the little miss in the meantime, assuming that I will be putting her into daycare sometime soon.
One thing about this situation comforts me--the notion that my daughter will see her mother as a mother and a biologist. It's important to me for my children to know that not just daddies can work outside the home and make a difference in the world; mums can, too. So, I want to set this example for my daughter, so that she'll know that one day it could be an option open for her, too, if she so chooses.
But that doesn't mean that I won't have a little hole in my heart to know that the special smiles that she gives me everyday will go to someone else during the eight hours I'm away from her.
But I guess no one ever said any of this was supposed to be easy.
Friday, September 4, 2009
Say Anything...
My blood is boiling. I mean, really, my skin is tingling, my stomach is flip-flopping, and my blood is turning into mercury-like balls of anger, racing through my arteries and veins at breakneck speed.
I've come to the realization that we now live in a world where anything goes. Say anything, do anything...and there are no consequences, no repurcussions (not even a hot young John Cusack holding a boom box beneath my window). Sure, accuse our president who's trying to provide health insurance to all Americans of being Adolf Hitler; universal health care is certainly akin to masterminding the Final Solution that left over 6 million Jews dead. Spread rumors that he's using underhanded tactics by encouraging kids to get good grades and stay in school; hmmmm...God forbid we actually have a well-educated and academically competitive generation of kids moving into adulthood; sounds totally socialist to me. People really can (and do) say anything these days.
So I guess I shouldn't have been surprised by my recent visit to Motherhood Maternity this week. Adam and I took Bryony to an outlet mall in the Michigan thumb to do some walking and windowshopping on one of these last gorgeous summer days, and toward the end of our trip, we happened upon this store. Early in my pregnancy, I went to the Motherhood Maternity near my house to pick up some much-needed anti-nausea candy drops. What should have been a simple trip turned into a high-pressure situation, as overzealous saleswomen tried to convince me to make unnecessary purchases, not to mention open a trust fund for my as-of-then unborn child. It was overwhelming and distasteful; I almost left the store without buying the item I had actually come for. But...everyone (and every store chain) deserves a second chance, right?
Well, observe second chance:
Salesgirl: Ooooo, a baby! Let me see the baby!
Salesgirl pulls back the retractable shade on the stroller.
Salesgirl: Oooo, your baby is soooo cute!
Adam and I: Thanks!
Salesgirl: So, I'm assuming you guys are mom and dad?
Adam and I: Yes.
Salesgirl: Wow, I can't believe her skin is so light! I was totally expecting her to be darker!
Lauren, casting a look of disbelief to the invisible audience, stage left
Ever-jovial-Adam: Well, everyone is different; who knows, her complexion might change as she gets older. You never can tell about these types of things!
Unwittingly-obnoxious-and-offensive salesgirl: Yeah, but I just can't believe how light-skinned she is...she's so fair! You would think that she'd be darker like her mother, but she's not at all...!
Lauren, looking to exit stage left, in disgust
Salesgirl: My sister just had a baby with her boyfriend, who's this really dark-skinned black guy...I mean, he's really dark...and we all expected the baby to look like him, but the baby looks like my sister, really fair. Not a thing like the father!
Salesgirl runs to get her cellphone, to show picture of said albino baby to Adam. Lauren desperately tries to make motions to leave the store
Salesgirl (to Lauren): We have some really comfortable nursing bras and tops. Can I show you some of our best sellers?
**On a sweet note, when asked if the baby on the cell phone was cute, Adam screwed up his face and quickly said, "No! It was only a week old, but already a fat little Buddha." And Adam never has negative things to say about babies. I know this is really bad, but I felt better that salesgirl's nephew wasn't cute.
Oh, and since we're all "saying anything..." these days, here's my two cents: I drank my own breast milk last night. Personally, I don't see what all the hype is about. Didn't taste like much at all to me.
I've come to the realization that we now live in a world where anything goes. Say anything, do anything...and there are no consequences, no repurcussions (not even a hot young John Cusack holding a boom box beneath my window). Sure, accuse our president who's trying to provide health insurance to all Americans of being Adolf Hitler; universal health care is certainly akin to masterminding the Final Solution that left over 6 million Jews dead. Spread rumors that he's using underhanded tactics by encouraging kids to get good grades and stay in school; hmmmm...God forbid we actually have a well-educated and academically competitive generation of kids moving into adulthood; sounds totally socialist to me. People really can (and do) say anything these days.
So I guess I shouldn't have been surprised by my recent visit to Motherhood Maternity this week. Adam and I took Bryony to an outlet mall in the Michigan thumb to do some walking and windowshopping on one of these last gorgeous summer days, and toward the end of our trip, we happened upon this store. Early in my pregnancy, I went to the Motherhood Maternity near my house to pick up some much-needed anti-nausea candy drops. What should have been a simple trip turned into a high-pressure situation, as overzealous saleswomen tried to convince me to make unnecessary purchases, not to mention open a trust fund for my as-of-then unborn child. It was overwhelming and distasteful; I almost left the store without buying the item I had actually come for. But...everyone (and every store chain) deserves a second chance, right?
Well, observe second chance:
Salesgirl: Ooooo, a baby! Let me see the baby!
Salesgirl pulls back the retractable shade on the stroller.
Salesgirl: Oooo, your baby is soooo cute!
Adam and I: Thanks!
Salesgirl: So, I'm assuming you guys are mom and dad?
Adam and I: Yes.
Salesgirl: Wow, I can't believe her skin is so light! I was totally expecting her to be darker!
Lauren, casting a look of disbelief to the invisible audience, stage left
Ever-jovial-Adam: Well, everyone is different; who knows, her complexion might change as she gets older. You never can tell about these types of things!
Unwittingly-obnoxious-and-offensive salesgirl: Yeah, but I just can't believe how light-skinned she is...she's so fair! You would think that she'd be darker like her mother, but she's not at all...!
Lauren, looking to exit stage left, in disgust
Salesgirl: My sister just had a baby with her boyfriend, who's this really dark-skinned black guy...I mean, he's really dark...and we all expected the baby to look like him, but the baby looks like my sister, really fair. Not a thing like the father!
Salesgirl runs to get her cellphone, to show picture of said albino baby to Adam. Lauren desperately tries to make motions to leave the store
Salesgirl (to Lauren): We have some really comfortable nursing bras and tops. Can I show you some of our best sellers?
**On a sweet note, when asked if the baby on the cell phone was cute, Adam screwed up his face and quickly said, "No! It was only a week old, but already a fat little Buddha." And Adam never has negative things to say about babies. I know this is really bad, but I felt better that salesgirl's nephew wasn't cute.
Oh, and since we're all "saying anything..." these days, here's my two cents: I drank my own breast milk last night. Personally, I don't see what all the hype is about. Didn't taste like much at all to me.
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