My heart is still pounding...my voice is still not quite right. I just stepped through the door to work after having approached a small group of male construction workers who I observed cat-calling women.
Perhaps I'm still a bit sensitive because I just read an article yesterday about the #YesAllWomen movement that has ignited after the murders at UC Santa Barbara. Although I don't entirely agree with everything that's been said in support of that movement, I do think it's true that men have no idea how one-sided, intimidating and unappreciated their interactions with women can be.
As I was walking up the block to my office, I noticed a group of three young male construction workers, standing half underground (they were doing work on the infrastructure under the street). An attractive young woman was walking up ahead of me, and I saw all three of the men's heads turn approvingly in her direction. Then one or all of them started yelling unintelligible things her way. She either didn't hear or chose to ignore them because she didn't respond, just kept walking. They saw me walking next, and I don't know if it was the fact that I was carrying a baby, or the fact that I was looking right at them, or maybe they just didn't find me attractive, but none of them said anything to me. I almost just put the whole situation behind me and went inside my building. My coworker had just arrived and noticed me, so he had left the door ajar for me. But something made me not go inside. I realized I had to say something for all the women who have ever felt frightened to walk down a street for fear of being harassed by men. For all the women who don't have the nerve or are too afraid of the repercussions of standing up to disrespectful men. I just had to.
In all honesty, I felt safe. These were young guys in their 20s. They were at work in the middle of the street with uniforms on. My job was just a few short steps away. I knew nothing bad was going to happen. So that made it easier than if I were in a parking garage or an empty street at night. I wouldn't have the nerve or feel safe doing it then.
I walked up and, my voice clear and strong, but still shaking, told them that I was speaking because not all women feel like they can. I told them that no woman appreciates being called after and harassed simply for walking down the street. One of the guys seemed immediately shamed, and he looked stone-faced at the ground. The other two men smiled. I told them I could tell they thought it was funny because they were smiling, but that it's not. Men who treat women like that are making women feel intimidated and fearful, when all we want to do is walk down the street. I told them surely they have women in their lives who they care about, who they wouldn't want feeling this way because of strange men on the street. I told them that women should be able to walk with pride and respect and not be shamed by men cat-calling and commenting on their appearance. The two men who were smiling gave me a bit of lip service, feigned humility, but were smiling (sheepishly?) by the time I stopped talking. The other man seemed like he genuinely heard what I was saying and was taking it to heart. So, maybe my words made some impact. I walked away, shaky and nervous with a charge of adrenaline and emotion.
I almost posted this story to Facebook. But I didn't want to get a bunch of "likes" and congratulatory comments from well-meaning friends. I didn't do this for that. I did this so that perhaps one day a woman won't get harassed by these guys because the men actually stop to think before they say something. Maybe they'll think about how their words, actions and general appearance come across to a woman walking down the street, and instead of cat-calling, perhaps they'll just nod courteously and wish her a nice day.
No comments:
Post a Comment