Y Tú, Mama, También

My mother and I have always had a pretty close relationship. We didn't (to my memory) act out the typical mother-daughter relationship dramas that many teenage girls engage in with their mothers. While there might have been some power struggles, they were mostly of the petty variety, like whether I could convert to vegetarianism or how often I maintained the compost bin in the backyard.

In my adult life, I've realized how much I value my close relationship with my mother. I talk to my mother at least twice a week, no matter where in the nation I live. She is the first family member I told about my pregnancy, and she was the first relative to meet my daughter. My "Mum" and I are mother and daughter as well as girlfriends. We share tastes in movies, novels and (some) television. We gossip. We confide. We are close.

Just recently, a good friend lost her mother. She is the fourth friend in my life to have suffered such a loss. I cannot imagine the pain of losing someone who means the world to me. Although I know that we all must leave this world one day, my hope is that I will be able to enjoy many, many more years together with my mother.

I recently called her to tell her how much she means to me. I don't believe in waiting to let my feelings be known. I gave her the context for the call and then told her that I wanted to make sure she knew I valued our friendship. She surprised me by telling me how much my friendship has meant to her over the years, particularly during some of the low points in her life. She said she always felt lucky that when I was a teenager, I wanted her around. "You always invited me to hang out with you. You never seemed embarrassed to have your mom with you. That always meant so much." It never really dawned on me that I shouldn't want to hang out with my mother. She is, and always has been, my good friend.

Mum, I hope this post doesn't embarrass you or betray your confidence. I am so proud of my relationship with you and just wanted to write about what a wonderful parent and friend you've been to me. I'm so grateful to have you in my life. I love you.