Boy's Eye View

I remember a conversation I had with some of my close male friends back in college, when dialogue was no holds barred and curiosity was at an all-time high. Somehow the talk drifted to "What do men really think of women???" and the floodgates crashed open, sweeping those of us of the female persuasion completely off our feet. More like, drowning us in new information we were totally unprepared for.

Since my group of friends comprised guys and gals running the gamut of ethnic combinations, conversation seemed to start off there. I don't think it had ever occurred to me that men thought of women from one ethnic group differently than women from another. In my estrogen-laden brain, boys just thought about what simmered beneath certain undergarments, with no respect to the cultural background of the woman bearing "the unforeseen." Evidently, I was wrong. Here's a general synopsis, as best as I can remember from so many years ago:

Black girls:
Oversexed, but full of attitude. Would be an animal in bed, if her ego and attitude didn't get in the way

White girls:
Frigid and puritanical. Don't put out before marriage, then don't put out after wedlock because now that they're married they don't have to (already snagged the guy).

Latin girls: Oversexed, exotic, excellent in bed. Can have a bit of the attitude and egotistical issues.

Asian girls: Demure, exotic, shy, fragile, beautiful.

(Middle Eastern and Native American women were not included in this discussion, to my recollection).

I remember being really insulted by the generalities that (these) men made about women. I know, and am good friends with, or related to women from all of the listed ethnic categories, and none of them fit those descriptions. How is it that men continue to stereotype women in such a way that we cease to be individuals, cease to be human beings? Objectify is a word that took me a long time to truly appreciate, but in the years since this very frank discussion with my male friends, I think I finally understand.

But, that was college, and those guys were boys entering manhood. They are now husbands and fathers (some of young daughters), and my guess is that their perspectives and attitudes about women have changed a lot. And, I also know that a lot of guys--heck, perhaps most guys--aren't like that. I'd like to think that most guys are decent people who respect their mothers and sisters, but just feel a need to keep up with the machismo talk of the locker room. However, everytime I hear another report of a girl getting raped, or hear of women being sexually harassed at their workplace, or see women's bodies presented in a way that men's bodies never would be, I wonder...has the boy's eye view shifted perspective at all?