Up Close and Personal

I'm at home on a Saturday night, Adam is out with the guys, baby is sleeping and Saturday Night Live is a bit of a dud. And I really want a glass of wine but I make it a rule never to drink when I'm home alone with the baby, so...whilst scanning Craigslist for a cheap jogging stroller for Bryony, my eyes fell onto the personal ads. I haven't really looked at the personal ads since I lived back in Manhattan and would enjoy reading the racy comments in the Village Voice, but tonight I decided to give it a go. I found myself drawn to the "missed connections" category, filled with posts from folks like the man who wished he'd spoken to the woman who'd held the door open for him at the reststop that morning; or the girl who has been wanting to talk to the guy who works at the hardware store for months; or even the one-night stand who is sending a message out to that not-so-special person for a little more lovin'.

There are a few creepy posts, some sweet ones, and some really sad ones. Here are just a few that grabbed my attention.


I see you everyday
You moved into the house next to me last summer. All summer I wanted you. If it wasn't for that pesky husband then I'm sure I'd've bedded you down by now. I think you're about early 20's and you got a hot body. When you lay out in the sun in the back I watch you all day long with my binoculars. I know I would be a better man than your husband is.
Sometimes I see you inside at night when you leave on the lights and don't draw the blinds. wow. I think you do that so I can see you. I am retired and willing to play any time of the day just come by. We can make it quick or I can draw it out. I see the swimsuit top you wear and I see how it is all padded. I would be willing to buy you new boobs if we end up playing.

I love my best friend
I'm totally in love with my best friend. Her laugh and smile, her brand of sarcasm, and the way she wears her hair. We've been through so much but I could never tell her how I feel because she is happy where she is.

I need to quit you
... I do. Except there are constant reminders of you everywhere. And the biggest joke is I'm not even sure why I dig you. Please tell me it's unrequited so I can just move on. It would never work.

Brown dog blue truck
Do you know why I enjoy the weekday mornings so much?

Sexy Asian kitten
It's New Year's Eve so what the hell.
We met a few months ago when you immediately caught my attention at a party with your piercing eyes and gorgeous smile. We chatted for a bit. You were dating someone then but I just learned that you're now broken up and available. I'd love to take you out.
-Fellow JCrew Lover (that's a hint for you!)

Steve at the Chevy dealership
When we went on the test drive i have never laughed so hard in my life. I wasn't sure if you were single or not so I didn't say anything. But your really hot and I would love to grab a drink with you. Thank you for the Christmas card. I love my white malibu. wink wink

Bed, Bath & Beyond Cashier
During the holiday shopping I met you at the cash register at bed bath and beyond at the mederian mall. You were wearing a red sweater with dark brown hair pulled back into a pony tail type thing. You have paleish white skin and beautiful eyes. Medium height and very pretty in the face. You didn't have a name tag on so I don't even know your name. I was the dark brown haired Italian guy with his grandma who bought a pizza grabber thing and we joked about something for a second or two. I hope you get this and I hope you remember, because I do.

MacDonalds on S. Cedar St in Holt
You hand me my senior coffee when I come through the drive through window. We spoke briefly last time. If you enjoy the company of an older guy, I'd like to meet. If you see this, either respond with how you make my coffee or what I drive so i'll know it's you..

To the cashier at the Quality Dairy
This is to the tall slender female that works there I think you are a great female a very pretty smile I do know your name is Robin
I have seen you there mostly at nights so i am thinking you are a 2nd shifter i come in there close to around 6 to 8 I come in there on purpose just to see you sometimes i buy things i do not need (lol) I am not a stalker so please do not think that
I do know that you are single i have heard you tell some people you are and that you wear that ring on your finger because it only fits that finger(lol)
I am not sure how old you are but i am thinkning close to maybe 40 but you have a great body i would like to come in there sometime when you are not busy with others to ask you out
If any of you men see this lady Robin at QD you will know she is hot she is single to (lol)
Sometimes she don't wear a name tag but she has a tattoo on her neck you can see a tip of it i do not no what it is
Also if someone sees her tell her there is a man on here that wants to take her out (lol)

Only coffee?
You come in for coffee almost every weekday. You are absolutely breathtaking with your hair pulled back or flowing down. Your smile is beautiful and I look foward to seeing your glowing face. If I thought I was your type I would've asked you out years ago. You are just wonderful and I hope you have someone in your life to tell you so. Oh yeah, your body is smoking hot as well. Maybe next lifetime.

Murphy's gas station
OK ... this is a long shot ... you know how sometimes you get the feeling that someone is looking at you? Well, I had that feeling while filling the tank at the gas station today ... turned around ... you were standing at the pump behind me ... our eyes met for a second, then I dropped mine. For the moment, you seemed like a decent guy. Anyway, if you read this and maybe want to just get together for a drink or a bite to eat, let me know what kind of car you were driving and the color of my jacket.

Math whiz
We were at the Lab desk today. We were both taking tests today. You had pink eye shadow on. If you would like to go out sometime just respond to my post.

Fowlerville Tim
Tim, you are so sexy and make such good pie