Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Completely Random Secret...

...that for some reason, at 2:00 in the morning, I feel compelled to share. I'll likely regret this candidness as soon as the first person brings it up in polite (or raunchy) conversation.

Anyway...I sometimes act out my own commercials...in the mirror, when I'm sitting on the toilet, lying in bed, driving in the car, pretty much anywhere. I'll make up a script in my head and then act out the commercial--in my head, silently mouthing the words if there are people around, or out loud if I'm by myself. Here's my latest incarnation:

"Every child deserves to believe their mother is the most beautiful woman in the world, and they shouldn't have to work too hard to believe it." Then I'd go into some common sense talk about eating right, exercising, and using some wonderful, all-natural, paraben-free skin product guaranteed to keep your skin youthful and soft, keeping your child giddy and confident that s/he indeed has the most beautiful mum in the world. I've practiced this one several times in front of the bathroom mirror when I'm rinsing a scrub off my face.

Sometimes, it's not a commercial, but rather an awards show. I love accepting a Grammy for "Best New Artist" for my eclectic and ground-breaking new album...that is, until an invisible Kanye West intercepts my acceptance speech.

Good night, y'all!

2 comments:

Unknown said...

that dude is a jerk, he needs to back off of your fame

Sarah said...

You're funny!