REALLY??

If you've been a Saturday Night Live fan in the last season or two, you might have seen the segment that Amy Poehler and Seth Meyers have on "Weekend Update" called, "Really?". They feature a current media piece that seems completely ridiculous, and will discuss every single ridiculous angle of it, and then look at each other and say, "Really?".

Well, that was yesterday afternoon and all day today for me. My coworker, Mary, was the Amy Poehler to my Seth Meyers. We got back into the office yesterday after a relatively long day in the field. Just as I was getting my things together to go home, I heard Mary say, "Oh, come ON!" Somehow, in that instant, I knew my day had just gotten a little longer. She came out of her office with a note, written by one of the undergraduate lab technicians that we hired to work with us this fall. In a very flippant tone ("So Mary, funny story about today...", the girl had written to Mary that she and the other technician had been involved in an accident with our lab vehicle that had left a very small scratch and dent on the driver's side. Mary immediately went outside to examine the vehicle; she came back, red-faced and steaming, stating very exactly, "Lauren, that is NO SMALL DENT." Going back to check her e-mail, she then finds a nasty-gram e-mail from the vehicle rental department on campus; a campus worker had witnessed the vehicle accident, and the technicians had driven away, leaving the scene of the accident. Oh, don't worry, it just gets better. Considering this was the THIRD accident that someone from our crew has had this season (the last of which was had by the girl who was the passenger in the vehicle this time), we assumed that the technicians would understand what proper accident reporting protocol would be. Evidently not. They did not call the police, walk to the the vehicle rental office (which was about 20 ft from where they had the accident) for help, or call Mary's or my cell phones. They just did nothing. Oh yeah, the girl who was driving at the time wrote the little note.

Mary wrote both technicians a strongly worded e-mail, emphasizing the seriousness of the accident, the expense related, and the fact that they mishandled the reporting of the accident. She told them to be in to work immediately in the morning to report the accident to the police. Mary and I talked about the ludicrousness of it all as we were leaving work--how could they have not called the police? Why would they not have called one of us to ask what to do? Why would they act as though it were no big deal when they caused fairly major damage to a university vehicle? It was pretty incomprehensible to us, but we figured we'd deal with it in the morning.

Today was a new day. Both girls came in, filed the police report and then came to the lab. After getting annoyed with US for holding them up (Mary and I were in a business meeting when the girls were waiting in the lab), we took each of them into a closed-door meeting to talk to them about the details of the accident, to express our disappointment in their behavior, and to determine where to proceed. I've really never had to do this before, but I was angry--not at the accident itself, but by the way they handled the accident--and I wanted them both to know it. The girl who was driving started crying. Personally, I think she's a good actress, so I was unmoved; I was particularly upset with her because her story of how the accident happened (she swerved to avoid another driver) did not jive with the other girl's story (there was no one there but them and girl in the driver's seat was driving too fast). I laid it on the line; without actually accusing her of lying, I told her there were inconsistencies in her story, and that it conflicted with the eyewitness account by the campus worker. She seemed surprised that I picked up on the fact that she lied. I told her that any police officer would believe a non-partial observer over her, and that from now on, she had better be careful about inventing falsehoods into her story. Not only do her lies reflect poorly on her, but also on Mary and me for hiring her.

Both girls wore hangdog faces leaving the meeting, but they seemed to bounce back relatively fast, and were all smiles leaving the lab. I was still suspicious, but what more could I do? We all have accidents, and we can't fire them for an accident. Even the police officer who came to photograph the vehicle said that the area where they had the accident is a tight squeeze, and that he has had an accident himself there with a much smaller squad car. But, he thought based on the scratch marks on the vehicle (from both the previous accident and from yesterday's) that both girls were driving much too fast for the area they were in.

The clincher for this whole story was the encounter that Mary had with the administative assistants who had to handle all the paperwork. When Mary went to file the accident report with them, she articulated how sorry we both are for this third accident of the summer, and how we've spoken to both girls about the seriousness of the situation. The assistant said she was glad to hear that, because it was the opinion of everyone in the office that both girls, when they came in earlier to file the report, seemed flippant and not at all sorry about what they'd done. Even these women were disturbed by their behavior.

REALLY????

Where do these kids come from? At what point do kids today think they are above being in trouble? When I was their age (or even at my ripe old age now), if I had wrecked a company vehicle, I would be shaking in my boots. Is there really such a difference in attitude, behavior and upbringing in the generational gap that exists between us? Really? I know from my teaching experience that there are loads of kids who feel entitled to certain things (good grades, easy exams, not having to study) and who don't feel they have to obey rules (coming to class on time, not holding conversations during lectures, not cheating). But this blatant carefree attitude and complete disrespect for authority is new even to me. I'd like to chalk it up to differences in parenting approaches, access to information and technology, loss of accountability. Maybe it's all of those things and then some, but I have to admit I'm floored, and a little scared. I never want to raise a kid who doesn't take responsibility for him/herself. So many kids today really seem to think the earth revolves around them and that they can do no wrong; so many parents support this misconception. It's sad and scary.

Well, we can't re-rear these ladies, but we can give them a dose of reality. While Mary's and my boss suggested firing both of them, we decided to put them on 2 weeks' probation (at this point, any misstep will mean the loss of their jobs) and no driving privileges. That leaves us in a bind because this now means one of us will have to drive anytime we need to send these girls somewhere. It's just one big pain in the arse.

Well, I'd better run now. I'm doing a Halloween outreach event for the BugHouse in an hour; have to go pick up the Chilean Rose-hair Tarantula.

REALLY?? Really.