Brown-eyed Girls

For the record, I have nothing against blue eyes. I married a blue-eyed man, and I find his eyes lovely. My first child was born with blue eyes, and they were beautiful. They are equally as beautiful as they have changed to brown.

I do realize that it's 'the thing' now to be a mommy who complains about all the rude and insensitive things the general public utters my way. I tried to keep my complaints to a minimum when I was pregnant and strangers, friends and family would insist on telling me what gender baby I was having (despite the fact that we chose not to find out and were not soliciting opinions...all of which turned out to be wrong, by the way!).

I've tried to be more open to making time for strangers at the store to peer in at a sleeping Samara, and answer numerous questions about her headful of hair, even when I really just want to grab a few items and make my way through checkout. After all, isn't appreciating and loving on a little baby a sign that there's still humanity left in the world?  I remind myself that I'll miss these days once she's older.

But, if I get to cash in my one complaint card, it's for this typical exchange:
Stranger: Look at those blue eyes! They are so lovely!
Me: Thanks
Stranger: Will they stay blue?
Me: I doubt it. My older daughter was also born with blue eyes, but they eventually turned brown.
Stranger: Oh, what a shame! That's too bad!

What?????

Did these folks fail to hear that my first daughter has brown eyes? And brown eyes do not make her any less beautiful. Not to mention the fact that I have brown eyes...is that a shame, too?

I realize I might be overly sensitive here, but I find these comments overtly offensive. Somehow, people have put a premium on blue eyes as though they are the be all that ends all. I get the same comments about Samara's straight hair: 'It won't stay straight? It'll curl? What a pity!'  Ya know, Shirley Temple made loads off her curls, and Van Morrison didn't sing about his 'blue-eyed girl'. When did these features become so undesirable? I can't help but feel that there is a subtle racial component underpinning all this...after all, there's only one ethnic group that consistently exhibits blue eyes and straight hair. So...if my children bear more of my traits than those of their Anglo father, then that's 'a pity'? What is the unspoken implication there? That my genetic contribution is inferior?

Scientific understanding of eye color has increased and evolved in recent years. The previous understanding was that eye color was determined by single dominant and recessive alleles at a single locus, aka--a person with blue eyes would have to have two recessive alleles for blue eyes, but a person with brown eyes could either have two dominant allele for brown eyes, or one recessive blue and one dominant brown. It's been determined, however, that eye color is much more complex, involving many alleles at several loci. Bottom line, just because I have brown eyes and likely have passed a dominant brown allele to my baby, there is still a chance she could keep her blue eyes. Personally, I find the science behind this much more interesting than how she looks with whatever eye color. Having said that, I would love for her to have blue eyes like her dad. I would also be thrilled if she ends up with brown eyes like her mama. Or maybe she'll fool all of us and end up with grey, green or amber eyes.

Whatever her final eye color, she'll always be my beautiful girl, and there's no pity or shame in that.