The Third Degree

A few months ago, a good friend of mine who is a top professional in her field admitted to me that she couldn't think of any conversation to make with her coworker's wife, who is a stay-at-home-mother (SAHM). I think that before I had a kid, I was probably in a similar mindset, assuming that the lives of SAHMs are so predictable and obvious that there probably isn't much to ask or converse about.

*WRONG*

Even if you're not interested in having kids yourself, there are tons of interesting questions you can ask (and even more interesting answers you'll receive) a SAHM (or SAHD, for all those fathers out there who are doing the full-time parenting). After all, we manage to come up with questions for people in all types of work that we couldn't see pursuing ourselves; why should making conversation with a full-time parent be any different?

Here are a few I've been thinking about for folks who might want a little help with the small talk at dinner parties and get-togethers. We SAHM(D)s are interesting people who like to talk about our jobs as much as the next person! Fire away!

1) Do you find this community conducive to families and do stay-at-home parents have a good support system here?

2) What's the biggest surprise/challenge/joy you've had since becoming a parent?

3) What is a typical day for you like?

4) Are you enjoying your job? Is it one you wanted to do for a long time?

5) How often do you get a break? Do you have baby-sitting or child care outlets so you can have a little time to yourself?

You can always ask about school systems, what milestones children have achieved lately and what the parent likes and dislikes most about their job. I would just avoid overly personal questions like "Are you planning to have more children?" or "Was it very difficult for you to conceive?". After all, you wouldn't ask someone at an office job how much money they make. There are just some places you shouldn't go.