I guess I am really and truly a mother now. I got up early Saturday morning to run out to the Mom-2-Mom sale, which is basically a big rummage sale where mothers sell gently used baby/kid clothes for a small charge. It's nice because these parents make a little of their money back and new parents like me get nice items without paying store prices. I couldn't believe how much fun I was having shopping for Bryony. Ne'er did I think the day would come when I'd have just as much fun shopping for my child as I do shopping for myself. I got her winter coat--a nice mauve fleece-lined coat--for just $1, and a couple pairs of slacks, sleep n plays, onesies and a sweater, all for only $8 more. The piece de resistance was the old-fashioned rocking horse, originally priced at an absurdly low $8, which I ended up getting for $4 once prices were slashed mid-day. I was so excited to bring that home; Adam loved it, but we agreed it's still a little big for her, and since her bedroom is small, we're putting it down in the basement until she's a little older.
So that was the beginning of the day. After coming home with my baby booty (pun intended), I played with Bryony while Adam finished packing for a weekend business trip. As we were on the road to the airport, I realized that I needed to visit the porcelain throne; since Bryony and I were on our way to a party afterward, however, I figured I would wait until we got there to "go." The party was actually a luncheon sponsored by a community center that I've volunteered for in the past; they were acknowledging all of their volunteers with lunch and an awards ceremony. It was very nice. However, I quickly realized that of the few people in attendance that I actually knew, all of them seemed busy with working, socializing or eating, and therefore not able to watch Bryony so I could run to the restroom. I decided to worry about pottying later, and to just go ahead and eat lunch. And what a good lunch it was--salad, garden-on-a-stick (veggies, kabob-style), corn salad, potato salad, sandwiches, hummus and pita...a healthy plethora of uber-fibrous delectables, all of which were helping my plumbing right along. Oh, and I shouldn't forget to mention that Bryony got hungry midway through my meal, so I decided to breastfeed her at the table. Normally, that's no big deal, but lately I've been having some..."leakage" issues...and well, before I knew it, I had two huge milk stains on either side of my shirt. And wouldn't you know it, it was just then that my name was called to come up front to accept my award! Since I had to carry Bryony with me, I tried (successfully? I don't know) to position her in the sling so the big wet spots were hidden. Luckily, it's a pretty liberal, forgiving crowd so I'm sure folks who noticed were just kind enough not to comment.
After the lunch was over, and I had spoken to a few friends and acquaintances, it was time to leave. On my way out, I remembered my bathroom issue. Oh yeah, that! I looked around the room. By that time, people were in clean-up-and-leave mode and it really would have been an imposition to ask someone to hold Bryony while I went to the bathroom. So, I decided to wait...again. I walked outside and realized that I wanted to stop by my friends George and Emily's house to return their housekey to them, so I'd just use the bathroom there. I called Emily's phone--which she picks up 9 times out of 10--and wouldn't you know it, there was no answer. Hoping she'd simply not heard her phone ring, I decided to drive the couple blocks to their house anyway and see if they were home. Boy, was I ever relieved to see their truck in the driveway when I got there! I hopped out of the car, leaving Bryony in her carseat, and knocked on the door. I figured Emily could watch Bryony while I ran inside to poo. I heard a cat meowing from behind the door. I knocked again. The cat meowed again. I thought I heard footsteps coming to the door, only to realize it was a guy walking down the ramp of the moving truck parked across the street. Seriously?? I could feel myself "prairie-dogging" as I squirmed and tried as hard as I could to tighten all relevant muscles. Momentarily, I considered using the housekey I was clutching in my fist to just let myself inside. On the chance that they were actually there, and didn't hear me knocking or were ignoring the door, I didn't want to just walk into their house uninvited. I had mental images of walking in on them at a most inopportune moment and the thought made me X out the idea. Defeated, I realized sadly that I would have to high-tail it back to my own house to do my business. The idea of sitting down, even for the five-minute drive, was almost too much. But, I jumped in the car and plowed on. I drove the one mile to my house, of course hitting the one stoplight that exists between our houses, and gratefully pulled into my driveway. I got Bryony out of her carseat...only to discover that a baby poo smell was emanating--quite strongly--from her diaper. Seriously???? Who would I attend to first--her or myself? Just as I stepped inside the house, I saw a frantic Kika, clad in her own doggie-diaper (because she's been having accidents lately), motioning to the door. Seriously???? With a triage mentality, I quickly prioritized the bathroom order--me, Kika, Bryony; after all, Bryony had already poo'd her pants. Kiks and I still had a chance.
Without going into too much detail, I'll just say it was one of the most grateful bathroom experiences I've ever had...probably because I was thankful just to have made it there in time. When I changed Bryony's diaper, I discovered that after a few days of constipation, she'd blown out a massive poo explosion. When I mentioned this to her, she threw her head back and giggled. Well, better her than me.
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