Okay, so first things first. You must (MUST) check out Jess Riley's latest blog. It's easy; there's a link to her blog on the left side of my site. Okay, I'll make it even easier-- www.jessriley.blogspot.com. Just click and read. If you love or hate nature, this one's for you.
Secondly, I am becoming increasingly more annoyed (and maybe a little disturbed?) by our local NBC news anchor, Jason Colthorp. Okay, sit back and get comfy because there's a story here (yes, Emily, I know you've heard enough already). For YEARS, our local NBC news anchor has been David Andrews, the 50-something, soft-spoken librarian-type who always seemed like the kind of guy who would read books to little kids. His co-anchor was Adela Uchida, a really nice, smart (not to mention hot) woman in her 30s. Rounding out the evening news was Andy Provenzano, our affable and wonderfully accurate weatherman. I loved that threesome like I love a thr....uh, okay, so anyway...
Getting back to my story, it was the Andrews-Uchida-Provenzano triumvirate that ruled our tv screen every night at 11pm, at least until Adam went to Iraq and I moved to Oregon. Evidently, Lansing just falls apart without us here to keep things in order. What do I find when we return? The young 30-something upstart who had been anchoring the local Fox news had defected to join the ranks over at NBC. Jason "cutie pie" Colthorp, the self-proclaimed MSU graduate, family man and community supporter, had bumped my beloved David Andrews from the co-anchor spot, to now share it with Adela Uchida. Needless to say, I was devastated. How could they reduce the time-honored, well-proven David Andrews to 2 minutes of trivial ramblings while giving the prime seat to the guy who made commercials for Fox News, saying "I always run into people on the street who say, 'Oh my God, I go to bed with you every night!' Well, I'm glad that they feel that comfortable with me to let me in their homes every night." Yeesh. Top it all off with the fact that he commonly refers to my main man Andy Provenzano as "Andy Pro." I always look for Andy's face to see how he feels about his new nickname; maybe I'm searching for trouble, but Andy doesn't look too happy about it to me! I've also noticed that Cutie Colthorp (really, he's only mildly attractive--he's got little beady eyes like he's up to something) has stopped broadcasting the news if he doesn't feel like reading it. Honestly, there has been more than one time, when he'll start reading a story, decide it's not relevant or worth his time, and just abandon it, saying, "Well, I guess that's not worth mentioning, is it?" The only saving grace in all this is that David Andrews isn't actually gone; in fact he might have asked to be taken off the anchorseat for the 11pm news. He still anchors the 5pm and 6pm news, so maybe he prerecords his 2 minutes for the 11pm news, and is actually happily snoozing in his soft, comfy bed (or his firm, comfy bed, depending on what type of mattress he likes) while I busily make internal protests on his behalf. On a side note, Jason Colthorp is really short; George and Emily saw him at a Panchero's getting Mexican food and they say he's a short little sucker. On an additional side note, David Andrews is not actually his name...well, not exactly. Emily had jury duty with him, and when they called his name, it was David Mischkebabble, or what have you. She said he turned to the other juror-to-be's and said, "Yes, yes, Andrews isn't really my last name!". She seems to think it might be his middle name, though, and he's using it as a last name.
One last thing--even though I don't like Jason Colthorp, at least he doesn't sound like that annoying-as-hell weatherman from the local CBS news, David Young. The single worst Michigan accent I've ever heard. Pinch your nose, and say in the most annoying voice you can muster, "In the SOUTH, we'll have rainSHOWERS for several HOURS..." Yeah, you get the point. But that's a whole other ball of wax.
I just googled Jason Colthorp. He has a MySpace page. His tag is "Breaking News: People Love Me!" See what I mean?
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