Potty Humor

I feel a need to lighten the atmosphere a bit after my last few posts, although I apologize if switching from serious social issues to potty humor is abrupt or seemingly disrespectful...

I've been wanting to post this for awhile, but have been stalling for I-don't-know-what-reasons. Maybe afraid my coworkers will read it? Maybe afraid no one will and I'll have written all of this stuff for naught?

Well, the long and short of it is that I haven't quite mastered workplace toilet etiquette. I know, this sounds gross already and I've barely written anything. But, bear with me. I'm the type of person who can comfortably carry on a conversation with a friend while we're both on the throne--I mean, everyone has to go, so why is it such a sensitive issue?--and not think twice about it. But I realize there are those who find this most despicable, and so I often find myself in murky waters (pardon the pun). How does one know if a conversation can continue while both participants are attending to...well, their royal subjects??

I also like to know who I'm in the bathroom with, so I have this habit of noticing the shoes of the person in the next stall. If it's someone I recognize and am friendly with, I'll usually totally spook them out by saying in a whispered ghost voice, "Hiiii, Jennnnn!" Nine times out of ten, the person knows it's me, because after all, who else would be so incredibly ridiculous to try to scare someone in a bathroom stall? But, I also like to know if the head boss of our office is in the next stall, so that I can refrain from creating any unpleasantness in her presence.

Which brings me to the next and final issue. When is it okay to pinch the loaf, drop off the kids, drop a bomb? Must one wait until the entire bathroom is empty, or can you assume that since everyone poos, everyone will be understanding of your poo? I have tried the "waiting it out" game, only to find that inevitably five people enter the bathroom while I'm holding the kids at bay. One time, I waited so patiently for someone to leave the bathroom that they evidently didn't know I was in there, and they turned the light out on me when they left. I had to do some serious "holding in", get myself in order, leave the stall to turn the light back on, and then get back to business. Yeesh. I've also tried the "wait till the person next to you flushes" routine, but timing the exercise with someone else's flushing habit can be tricky. And still, the odoriferousness issue is still present. I've been told about doing a "courtesy flush" if you're in the middle of a poo when someone enters the bathroom, although I imagine the offensive aroma has already permeated? Plus, I work for a conservation organization, so wasting water seems a bit blasphemous to me. Lately, I've been doing a combination of "wait it out" and "wait till they flush" but I never really feel like I'm winning in the race for bathroom etiquette.

All in all, I'm starting to think there is really no good way of handling these situations, and so perhaps we just do what we have to do. Although, one method that, while hilarious, is partially effective is to literally wait until the bathroom is unoccupied. Several times I've been in the bathroom, heard the door open, then close, with no one enter. Once I've washed hands and left, a suspicious-looking lady, fraught with ants-in-the-pants harriedness, runs into the bathroom past me.

I guess that's one way of doing things.

Afraid of the Dark

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Snippets

Is anyone else as emotionally exhausted by the state of the world as I am? Bombings, murders, war, ugly politics, child abuse, environmental destruction. My heart is heavy and overwhelmed. It's not enough to just turn off the tv or radio...I feel a need to do something--something bigger than myself--to save the world. I just don't know what I can do, or how to do it, or if it will actually work. I want to do something, or at least try.

'Cause just recycling and composting doesn't seem to be cutting it anymore.

All Dudded Up

Adam and I have not had a date night out to ourselves in nearly 3 years, aka, since Bryony was born. So, when we attended a relative's wedding in NYC last month, we asked Grandpa Cal to watch his doting granddaughter so that we could attend the wedding the right way.

Here we are.


Adam and I at the wedding of weddings.


With Adam's brother Scott and sister-in-law (and one of my besties) Christine


What we left at 2:30pm...and came home to at 10:30pm. Bryony and Grandpa Cal lying on the bed, watching "Thomas the Tank Engine."

Milk

We are weaned. I thought about posting this emotionally-conflicting news to Facebook, but decided I was neither prepared, nor in the mood to deal with the ignorant comments about Bryony having breastfed as long as she did. So instead, I'll divulge the news, and my feelings about it here on my tiny blog.

I've been wanting to wean Bryony for the last few months. In fact, I had decided that once Adam was back in town I would pretty much cut her off cold turkey. But a) I'm weak, b) life happens, c) she's cute, and d) I'm weak. Everytime I'd tell myself I was ready to have my body back, I gave in to the early morning whimpers and tears and let her nurse to her heart's content. Then, three things happened: 1) We went to New York City to see Adam's family; I came home a day earlier than Adam and Bryony, and he said that she didn't ask for milk at all in the day we were apart, 2) I had started to notice that she didn't always remember to ask to nurse in the mornings, and when she did she only suckled for 2-3 minutes, 3) Adam and I have made the decision to try for baby #2, so nursing could play a factor in my inability (thus far) to get pregnant.

So, weaning. I kind of just decided one morning that she wasn't going to nurse anymore. I felt bad about it, because I had only had an informal chat with her about not nursing anymore, but I had heard that it's good to really talk these things out so they understand. Well, she cried--hard--but we cuddled and snuggled and she calmed down. And so has been the case in the last week. Every morning she wakes up asking for it: "I want muhlk! I want to drink it!" and every morning I deflect her attention to something else, be it silly imitations of her demanding milk (which makes her laugh) or her favorite cartoons on TV. So far, no major meltdowns. Which is probably a good indication that she is ready to wean.

My feelings? It's a mixed bag. I have been SO ready to have my body back, wholly and completely. It could get really annoying trying to sleep in on a Saturday morning while a little person is sucking intently on your nipple. Not to mention the fact that my milk supply has subsided enough in the last year that all my nursing bras are too too big. I needed some good-fitting bras but wanted to be done with nursing so I could purchase regular ones instead of those with the handy nursing flap. On the other hand, now that we are actually on the other end of the weaning process my heart aches a little bit for the baby girl who bonded so quickly and closely with me each time we breastfed. It hurts my heart to think that I'm experiencing the first in a long series of her detachments from me until the final "leaving the nest" occurs. It's a tough thing, letting your baby move on, even just a little bit.

So I find that I'm kissing her and squeezing her more than ever, which I thought would annoy her. Instead, it seems as though she somehow recognizes the shift in dynamics and is fighting to find the balance again, too. Just when I feel like she's growing up too fast and forgetting all about her poor mama, she runs over, out of the blue, wraps her arms around me and squeezes. "I love you, too, Mama!" she laughs before planting a big kiss on my cheek.

She hasn't gone anywhere.

Back In The Saddle Again...

I was gone, but I had not forgotten. I'm back in the business of writing, so stay tuned for a myriad of updates as I get thoughts organized and events collected.

Yee-haw!

Welcome to the World, Lyra Alexsandra!

We are so pleased to know you arrived peacefully and well, and you couldn't have come to a sweeter family. We already adore you as much as we do your big sister, and can hardly wait to meet you.

Welcome, little one!