*Due to the graphic nature of this post, parental guidance, a blog post filter, or a sense of humor is strongly recommended.
So, I will preface this story by saying that my 78-year old next-door neighbor laughed so hard when I told it to her that I stayed at her house an extra ten minutes to make sure she didn't have a heart attack. I'm not kidding.
My next-door neighbor, Mrs. Gonzales (or Mrs. G. as she's known in the neighborhood) is of Mexican descent, and is always making authentic culinary delights for me and Adam, much to our extreme pleasure. She has also taught me how to cook some Mexican dishes, so I can now swing cheese enchiladas, flour tortillas, salsa and pico de gallo.
In case you don't know, pico de gallo is essentially what Americans call salsa-- very small bits of tomato, onion, jalapeno peppers, cilantro and lime juice mixed together and eaten with chips. True salsa is actually cooked tomatoes, garlic, and jalapeno peppers blended together into a runny sauce, and also eaten with chips. I like them both, but pico de gallo is faster to make.
Anyway, after a few times making pico de gallo with Mrs. G., I decided to use a bunch of the tomatoes from my vegetable garden to make my own for a dinner party. It took me about 1 1/2 hours to mince all those tomatoes, onions and jalapenos down to the perfect size for the dip. Sometime during all the chopping and mincing, I decided to take a bathroom break. Well, seeing as my monthly visitor was also in town, I took care of her luggage. I then finished up, washed my hands, and went back to dicing.
About five minutes later, the inside of my "lady tract" started burning to high hell. At first, I thought I was experiencing some "technical difficulties" due to my monthly visitor; but seeing as it came on suddenly, I started thinking back to the previous 10 minutes, and what I could have done to have caused the burn.
...the jalapenos. I didn't wash my hands before going to the bathroom, so when I took care of my visitor, I infected her accomodations with jalapeno juice. I don't know how to express how NOT fun that was. I vaguely remember calling to Adam to tell him that my "insides were on fire." He had only a little sympathy and then said I should have washed my hands. Gee, thanks. Guess I'll remember that sage advice next time!
Mrs. Gonzales said she started laughing at work the next day just thinking about me dancing around my kitchen in jalapeno hell. When her coworkers asked her what was so funny, she didn't have the heart to divulge my pathetic little story. So I'm doing it now. Have fun with it. But wash your hands first.
Friday, August 29, 2008
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Definitely Maybe
I think I'm too liberal for my own good. While I have definitely been moved by the emotional pull of the Democratic convention (Hillary's speech last night, especially her references to Harriet Tubman; Joseph Biden's story of returning home to his sons in Delaware every night from D.C. after losing his wife and daughter to a car accident; Michelle Obama's account of her father persevering through diminishing health), I'm still not quite...there. I really should be--Obama seems to be a genuine, trust-worthy guy who's got his shit together. For awhile I was bothered by his level of experience (or lack of), but considering I think the ideal candidates would be ones who leave their regular lives to enter public service, I'm not so sure how much "experience" really plays a hand anymore.
I have to admit that I'm a Hillary supporter. That doesn't mean that I like everything that she's sad or done, or that she'd be my best friend if we knew each other. But I do think she's bold, brazen, competent and capable. My heart really went out to her as the media, D.C. and the general public made misogynistic remarks at her expense. But she persevered and I will always be proud of her for that.
There is no way on this green earth that I will vote for John McCain; I'm not willing to see Adam return to Iraq, to see gay rights go down the toilet, the economy continue to flounder or veterans get left behind upon return from war because of McCain's red tape.
So I guess my choice is Obama. I'd hate to be a die-hard liberal and not vote for him during this most monumental of historical elections. I think I'd always regret it. I think I will take up my coworker and receive an Obama '08 sign for my front yard. I've never been big on airing my political ideals (except in polite conversation, mind you, along with talk of religion and money). But this election is different; this election is of monumental significance.
So yes, I'm definitely voting for Obama. Maybe.
I have to admit that I'm a Hillary supporter. That doesn't mean that I like everything that she's sad or done, or that she'd be my best friend if we knew each other. But I do think she's bold, brazen, competent and capable. My heart really went out to her as the media, D.C. and the general public made misogynistic remarks at her expense. But she persevered and I will always be proud of her for that.
There is no way on this green earth that I will vote for John McCain; I'm not willing to see Adam return to Iraq, to see gay rights go down the toilet, the economy continue to flounder or veterans get left behind upon return from war because of McCain's red tape.
So I guess my choice is Obama. I'd hate to be a die-hard liberal and not vote for him during this most monumental of historical elections. I think I'd always regret it. I think I will take up my coworker and receive an Obama '08 sign for my front yard. I've never been big on airing my political ideals (except in polite conversation, mind you, along with talk of religion and money). But this election is different; this election is of monumental significance.
So yes, I'm definitely voting for Obama. Maybe.
Friday, August 22, 2008
Happy Belated Birthday Wishes
To my wonderfulest, dearest and only sister, Shannon, HAPPY 30TH, MO FO!! You rock, girlfriend. And your little dog, too!
Happy 2nd b-day to Andrew. Can't wait to see you soon! Bring your folks if you want!
Happy 3rd birthday to Bradley. We'll see you somewhere over the Atlantic...which direction, I'm not sure.
Happy 2nd b-day to Andrew. Can't wait to see you soon! Bring your folks if you want!
Happy 3rd birthday to Bradley. We'll see you somewhere over the Atlantic...which direction, I'm not sure.
Sad, Excited, and Other Observations
Since I've been behind a desk all week, I've succumbed several times (an hour) to the temptations of the internet. And of course, while I'm working on the exciting and challenging exploits of data entry, my mind has the tendency to wander, thinking about such pantamount questions as "Who was the actress who played the girl in 'The Boy Who Could Fly'?" and "Did Andy Bell sing the theme song to 'The Neverending Story'?". You know, important stuff. Stuff you just have to take a few minutes out of your day to look up.
Well, my musings mused me right over to "Whatever happened to the 'Sweet Valley High' book series I used to read as a kid?". So of course, I did a Google search. Thirty minutes later, I had learned that although the books always had Francine Pascal's name on the front, there were actually a series of ghostwriters who penned the majority of the books. Funny how despite the different authors over the years, the central characters, twins Elizabeth and Jessica Wakefield, never stopped being the most beautiful girls in Sweet Valley, never gained an ounce over their perfect 5'6", size 6 figures, and always seemed to have enough money without working, despite their "modest split-level home." I was also sad to learn that really bad things happened to some of my favorite characters toward the end (I stopped reading the books somewhere around my freshman year of high school): the groovy, bohemian Olivia Davidson, who was the arts editor for the high school newspaper, the Oracle, died in the horrific earthquake that hit Sweet Valley at the end of the series; John Pfifer, chief editor to the Oracle, and good friend of Elizabeth's, became a rapist and died during his attempts to blow up his intended victim's house; long-time lovers Elizabeth and Todd Wilkins (my favorite of her boyfriends) were on-again-off-again several times before finally breaking up for good in university; Enid Rollins, cool gal and best friend to Elizabeth, got annoyed playing second fiddle to Liz's first chair and changed her whole identity in university, only to become better friends with Jessica.
So, I was excited to find out what became of my old "crowd", but I'm now sad to see that the entire series (all 143 books) is being rereleased in a 2008 updated version. Instead of the twins driving a red Fiat spider, they'll be driving a red Jeep; Elizabeth writes for the school blog instead of the newspaper; Jessica now wears current designer clothes instead of the retro fashioned described in the 80's versions and the twins are now a perfect 5'8", size 4 (sick, right?). I guess I'm a sucker for nostalgia, so the updated books with their new lingo and new accessories just don't appeal to me. I like the old hairstyles, the old fashions, the old clothes. They're classic.
Leaving the world of Sweet Valley, I thought earlier today about writing about something that has been annoying me a bit recently. This is one of those topics that Adam would advise me to keep as "inner monologue" but I don't have a lot of shame, so I thought I'd post for the world (or at least my friends and family) to read. In my attempts to "go greener" (which I think I do a rather darned good job of) I have started using organic, all-natural deodorants. My scents of choice are lavender and tea tree oil. The problem is, they don't work. At all. Granted, I have a strong body chemistry, but still, if it says it's going to work, it should! I spent this entire summer smelling my own "pit odor" mortified that my colleagues, friends and strangers were wrinkling their noses in disgust. Even Adam told me my pits stank, and he never really notices that type of thing. I've gone through 3 different brands now only to realize that my "body chemistry" is just too strong for the all-natural stuff, although in recent weeks I've noticed the stink has subsided a bit. Maybe my body is losing the evolutionary fight and succumbing to the new deodorant, or maybe the deodorant is intelligently designed to conquer my strong body odor. Whatever the case is, I'm glad the hot weather is starting to wane.
At lunch today, I acted out a "Lean Cuisine" commercial verbatim for my coworkers (I did all the different parts--you know the 2 or 3 women who ate crap the night before, and then the woman who ate the delicious, seemingly calorie-heavy real meal, only to reveal that it was a Lean Cuisine microwave dinner). A guy who was sitting with us told me I have a radio voice. My coworkers all said I should work for NPR. I'm considering whether I have the time to grace them with my considerable talents.
I'm debating whether I should post a tell-all of Park Avenue families my friend and I baby-sate for during our university years. I've told these stories for years at dinner parties and they always leave an impression. What type, I'm not sure, but I'll let you decide for yourself. Next post, "Park Ave Nanny, Confidential".
Well, my musings mused me right over to "Whatever happened to the 'Sweet Valley High' book series I used to read as a kid?". So of course, I did a Google search. Thirty minutes later, I had learned that although the books always had Francine Pascal's name on the front, there were actually a series of ghostwriters who penned the majority of the books. Funny how despite the different authors over the years, the central characters, twins Elizabeth and Jessica Wakefield, never stopped being the most beautiful girls in Sweet Valley, never gained an ounce over their perfect 5'6", size 6 figures, and always seemed to have enough money without working, despite their "modest split-level home." I was also sad to learn that really bad things happened to some of my favorite characters toward the end (I stopped reading the books somewhere around my freshman year of high school): the groovy, bohemian Olivia Davidson, who was the arts editor for the high school newspaper, the Oracle, died in the horrific earthquake that hit Sweet Valley at the end of the series; John Pfifer, chief editor to the Oracle, and good friend of Elizabeth's, became a rapist and died during his attempts to blow up his intended victim's house; long-time lovers Elizabeth and Todd Wilkins (my favorite of her boyfriends) were on-again-off-again several times before finally breaking up for good in university; Enid Rollins, cool gal and best friend to Elizabeth, got annoyed playing second fiddle to Liz's first chair and changed her whole identity in university, only to become better friends with Jessica.
So, I was excited to find out what became of my old "crowd", but I'm now sad to see that the entire series (all 143 books) is being rereleased in a 2008 updated version. Instead of the twins driving a red Fiat spider, they'll be driving a red Jeep; Elizabeth writes for the school blog instead of the newspaper; Jessica now wears current designer clothes instead of the retro fashioned described in the 80's versions and the twins are now a perfect 5'8", size 4 (sick, right?). I guess I'm a sucker for nostalgia, so the updated books with their new lingo and new accessories just don't appeal to me. I like the old hairstyles, the old fashions, the old clothes. They're classic.
Leaving the world of Sweet Valley, I thought earlier today about writing about something that has been annoying me a bit recently. This is one of those topics that Adam would advise me to keep as "inner monologue" but I don't have a lot of shame, so I thought I'd post for the world (or at least my friends and family) to read. In my attempts to "go greener" (which I think I do a rather darned good job of) I have started using organic, all-natural deodorants. My scents of choice are lavender and tea tree oil. The problem is, they don't work. At all. Granted, I have a strong body chemistry, but still, if it says it's going to work, it should! I spent this entire summer smelling my own "pit odor" mortified that my colleagues, friends and strangers were wrinkling their noses in disgust. Even Adam told me my pits stank, and he never really notices that type of thing. I've gone through 3 different brands now only to realize that my "body chemistry" is just too strong for the all-natural stuff, although in recent weeks I've noticed the stink has subsided a bit. Maybe my body is losing the evolutionary fight and succumbing to the new deodorant, or maybe the deodorant is intelligently designed to conquer my strong body odor. Whatever the case is, I'm glad the hot weather is starting to wane.
At lunch today, I acted out a "Lean Cuisine" commercial verbatim for my coworkers (I did all the different parts--you know the 2 or 3 women who ate crap the night before, and then the woman who ate the delicious, seemingly calorie-heavy real meal, only to reveal that it was a Lean Cuisine microwave dinner). A guy who was sitting with us told me I have a radio voice. My coworkers all said I should work for NPR. I'm considering whether I have the time to grace them with my considerable talents.
I'm debating whether I should post a tell-all of Park Avenue families my friend and I baby-sate for during our university years. I've told these stories for years at dinner parties and they always leave an impression. What type, I'm not sure, but I'll let you decide for yourself. Next post, "Park Ave Nanny, Confidential".
Thursday, August 21, 2008
The Friendship Stands
We returned from our trip to the Upper Peninsula with George and Emily two nights ago, and we all commented on the fact that we're all still friends. I said that things could have gone REALLY WELL (as they did) or REALLY REALLY BADLY. It's not always easy to be with Adam and me 24/7 several days in a row. Trust me, I know, I do it all the time.
We got to see tons of fun stuff which I'll describe in greater detail when I have more time (I'm a desk proletariate right now). I'll also upload pics as soon as I get them from Em. We couldn't find our camera before we left, so Emily was the official photographer for our trip.
Kika did really well and was the toast of Mackinac City, as many children, couples and old ladies stopped us to comment on how cute she is. This particularly occurred while Adam was holding her. When the old ladies would stop to coo at all the cuteness, Adam would look charmingly confused and respond "who's cute? me or the dog?" The ladies giggled and replied that both he and Kika were cute. So smooth, that man of mine.
Gregory House was on his own for the first time, but our next-door neighbor watched over him for us. He has had a skin irritation that has caused him to pull his fur out, so he is on the way to the kitty vet as of this afternoon. Yet another bill. But hopefully he will no longer be my scabby-bloody-mangy kitty anymore. I was starting to think I could get some money to have him star in a horror flick. Adam is still dubious about G.H.'s role in our lives, and so any talk of giving him a swift kick is received quite well by Ads. I run interference.
So life is back to normal now. Adam is busy with his Adam-stuff and I am back at work, although not in the field anymore, which is why I am camped out behind a desk able to type. Days go by more slowly but I'm not nearly as drained of energy as I was when I was walking miles through thick prairies and cornfields everday. Still hunting for a permanent position but happy about the job I have. I am a lucky gal.
Oh, and yes, I now must acknowledge Michael E., who specifically asked that I update my blog because it's the only way he and his lovely curly-haired beauty of a wife (yes, I have a slight infatuation) keep up with the goings-on of Adam and Lauren. So here ya go, buddy.
We got to see tons of fun stuff which I'll describe in greater detail when I have more time (I'm a desk proletariate right now). I'll also upload pics as soon as I get them from Em. We couldn't find our camera before we left, so Emily was the official photographer for our trip.
Kika did really well and was the toast of Mackinac City, as many children, couples and old ladies stopped us to comment on how cute she is. This particularly occurred while Adam was holding her. When the old ladies would stop to coo at all the cuteness, Adam would look charmingly confused and respond "who's cute? me or the dog?" The ladies giggled and replied that both he and Kika were cute. So smooth, that man of mine.
Gregory House was on his own for the first time, but our next-door neighbor watched over him for us. He has had a skin irritation that has caused him to pull his fur out, so he is on the way to the kitty vet as of this afternoon. Yet another bill. But hopefully he will no longer be my scabby-bloody-mangy kitty anymore. I was starting to think I could get some money to have him star in a horror flick. Adam is still dubious about G.H.'s role in our lives, and so any talk of giving him a swift kick is received quite well by Ads. I run interference.
So life is back to normal now. Adam is busy with his Adam-stuff and I am back at work, although not in the field anymore, which is why I am camped out behind a desk able to type. Days go by more slowly but I'm not nearly as drained of energy as I was when I was walking miles through thick prairies and cornfields everday. Still hunting for a permanent position but happy about the job I have. I am a lucky gal.
Oh, and yes, I now must acknowledge Michael E., who specifically asked that I update my blog because it's the only way he and his lovely curly-haired beauty of a wife (yes, I have a slight infatuation) keep up with the goings-on of Adam and Lauren. So here ya go, buddy.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Busy Bees
Apologies for the lack of posts of late, but in truth we have been really busy. I am so exhausted when I get home, I can hardly even bear to look at the computer, much less sit down to write something legible.
Two weeks ago, I went to the Ecological Society of America's annual conference, this year in Milwaukee, WI. I had a great time in a really fun city. However, I was dismayed to find that my body has an abnormally fast reaction to excessive beer comsumption. After just two days of imbibing, I found that my gut had turned into the proverbial beer belly. No joke; it was so large I couldn't even suck it in as I walked around town, and I could feel it jiggling (and the rest of me waddling a bit) on the walk to and from dinner. I have refrained from beer ingestion ever since. I'm sticking strictly to wine now.
Otherwise, ESA was great. I saw a lot of old friends, met some new people, and learned a lot. I am firmly hoping to get some manuscripts written and to find some permanent employment sooner rather than later. We'll see how that works out.
Last weekend, Adam, Kika and I travelled to Grayling, MI, to meet with the International Order for the Rocky Mountain Goats. Yes, it's a mouthful. They are a lodge group that funded some of my research when I was a grad student, and they were having a scholarship recipient reunion. Also a nice time to catch up with folks, and breathe in the cool, clean northern Michigan air. We stayed in the cabin where I lived during my two summers of field research. Kika came into her element and ran around with Adam. We had a great time.
This weekend, we are heading to the Upper Peninsula for the first time. Well, we've made it over the Mackinac Bridge once since we've been here, for about 4 hours before we came back over. This time, we're spending a good 5 days in the "U.P." with George and Emily, camping, sight-seeing, and (hopefully) birding at Whitefish Point. That's the highlight of the trip for me--I can't wait to go to the Shipwreck Museum there to learn more about the Edmund Fitzgerald. We're all going to see Gordon Lightfoot perform in September, so "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald" will be all the more poignant after having visited the museum.
That's all for now; better head off to bed. I'll try to get some pix from the camera to include in the next post.
G'night
Two weeks ago, I went to the Ecological Society of America's annual conference, this year in Milwaukee, WI. I had a great time in a really fun city. However, I was dismayed to find that my body has an abnormally fast reaction to excessive beer comsumption. After just two days of imbibing, I found that my gut had turned into the proverbial beer belly. No joke; it was so large I couldn't even suck it in as I walked around town, and I could feel it jiggling (and the rest of me waddling a bit) on the walk to and from dinner. I have refrained from beer ingestion ever since. I'm sticking strictly to wine now.
Otherwise, ESA was great. I saw a lot of old friends, met some new people, and learned a lot. I am firmly hoping to get some manuscripts written and to find some permanent employment sooner rather than later. We'll see how that works out.
Last weekend, Adam, Kika and I travelled to Grayling, MI, to meet with the International Order for the Rocky Mountain Goats. Yes, it's a mouthful. They are a lodge group that funded some of my research when I was a grad student, and they were having a scholarship recipient reunion. Also a nice time to catch up with folks, and breathe in the cool, clean northern Michigan air. We stayed in the cabin where I lived during my two summers of field research. Kika came into her element and ran around with Adam. We had a great time.
This weekend, we are heading to the Upper Peninsula for the first time. Well, we've made it over the Mackinac Bridge once since we've been here, for about 4 hours before we came back over. This time, we're spending a good 5 days in the "U.P." with George and Emily, camping, sight-seeing, and (hopefully) birding at Whitefish Point. That's the highlight of the trip for me--I can't wait to go to the Shipwreck Museum there to learn more about the Edmund Fitzgerald. We're all going to see Gordon Lightfoot perform in September, so "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald" will be all the more poignant after having visited the museum.
That's all for now; better head off to bed. I'll try to get some pix from the camera to include in the next post.
G'night
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Talented Chicks
Just wanted to use my blog as an opportunity to send out kudos and congrats to two really talented chicks--Emily's sister-in-law Jess Riley (author) and a cool gal I met last summer, Mare Wakefield (songwriter and musician).
Jess' book "Driving Sideways" had a HUGE debut and has been literally selling like hotcakes. She's already into a second publishing just a couple months after the release. Target has her book on their "Hot Summer Reads" list and several online bookstores have been selling out and having to restock. If you haven't gotten your copy yet, jet on over to any bookstore and help out a sister. The read will be worth it!
Mare's latest album, "Ironwood" was just released and debuted as the highest debuting album on the AMA charts. This morning, I heard her single "I'll Drive" on NPR's "Car Talk". That girl is going places, pardon the pun.
Congrats, ladies. Keep on doing what you're doing!
Jess' book "Driving Sideways" had a HUGE debut and has been literally selling like hotcakes. She's already into a second publishing just a couple months after the release. Target has her book on their "Hot Summer Reads" list and several online bookstores have been selling out and having to restock. If you haven't gotten your copy yet, jet on over to any bookstore and help out a sister. The read will be worth it!
Mare's latest album, "Ironwood" was just released and debuted as the highest debuting album on the AMA charts. This morning, I heard her single "I'll Drive" on NPR's "Car Talk". That girl is going places, pardon the pun.
Congrats, ladies. Keep on doing what you're doing!
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